Published July 2, 2006
on the back cover of New York Magazine 26 June 06, ad for NOKIA 8801 phone:
Designed to reflect the way you live.
It's your life in there.
My life in there??? My LIFE in there? MY LIFE ? in THERE???, well, maybe more truth that we'd like to believe. As you read in the Unanswered Knock of Love, part I, when my friend's Blackberry device 'went down' so did he. He was paralyzed. Couldn't work,play,function-couldn't COMMUNICATE !
How did we used to communicate?
As regular listeners to my show have heard(again and again): "We used to value ideas-now we value things ... we used to meet in a park, parking lot,coffee house, where ever-but we used to MEET -face to face--touch each other-shake hands-hug, smile, look into each other's eyes, see each other's lips. touch each other's skin, hair, smell each other-for better or for worse. But we'd SEE each other. There's something much more meaningful about a face-to-face meeting that video conferencing CANNOT accomplish.
example: I have a friend that's a law enforcer.A FRIEND-became a friend b/4 my radio days-remained a friend during my fire-ings-maintained a friendship while on my forced sabbatical(exile) and remains a friend today. We talk frequently via phone, but our best talks were when we had brief meetings in Mill Creek Park. Walking while smelling the blooming flowers,feeling the prior rain drops blow from the tree leaves onto our faces, feeling the mist from the falls,-all while we talked- enhanced the experience -enhanced the experience in a way that the cell phones just cannot do !
Regardless of the hippster ring tones and picture phones-nothing compares to the personal experience of face-to-face communication-touching.
When we hug we feel each other.We hold each other in our arms.
I have another friend who years ago lost a child-his child died. I was called by one of his close employees who put him on the phone w/me. (I hadn't yet been told that his son had died-tragically,of course, how else would one lose a child ,Louie ?--well, if there are levels of tragedy in losing a child, this was one of the 'more' awful ways). I knew he was screaming and crying, but I could not understand what he was saying. I was yelling to him : "_ _ _ _ _ _! please,i cannot understand what you're saying-put _ _ _ _ _ back on the phone ...!" His employee took the phone and asked me to come to them as quickly as I could. When I arrived at his business which was locked, the employee came and let me in and just said:" It's his son..." I then heard my friend 'wailing and crying-screaming and sobbing. I ran to him, said "what's wrong _ _ _ _ _ _ _?" I threw my arms around him and he said "Louie, help me,_ _ _ _ _'s dead!"-With those words, _ _ _ _ _ _ _collapsed in my arms, collapsed to the point where I had to support his weight-I put my knee against the wall behind him so as to make almost a seat for him as I held him tightly-he said: " Help me Louie,please don't let go..."-and i didn't for what seemed like an "awfully " long time, as he cried,screamed,wailed and squeezed me. Oh, btw , this friend is NOT a hugger of men. In fact, he's directed me to "please don't hug me ...", and hasn't let me hug him since the funeral.-but why that day? Why did he want, I dare say need me or someone to hug him, to hold him?- and why does he refuse that touch now?-
Hey, don't be looking HERE for the answer-I'm doing the asking !, well,OK, i can theorize(guess):
He was in SO much pain, the pain (-and fortunately I can only guess)-probably like being burned alive from inside out-was so awful,so horrible, SO UNBEARABLE, that he needed to be held,supported and comforted to what minute degree possible. He dropped all of his self-imposed restrictions and collapsed into safe arms-arms that would NEVER tell the tale and expose him. In those moments of the most horrific pain(unimaginable by us-fortunately)his brain in pain and soul screaming hatred to God, he put up no blocks to compassion and camaraderie and accepted, actually asked for something that he at all other times-rejects. So,again, why don't we welcome the love,compassion and camaraderie that we obviously need and hunger for ? When I'm really hungry and am at the Flaming Ice Cube I am generally not too shy about satisfying THAT hunger.............
SO WHY DO WE DIET WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE ???
end The Unanswered Knock of Love,part II
part III coming ....., yeah, coming !
c. ~Louie b.
29 June 06