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« Bacon Bits

How are you? Nevermind

By Eric Hamilton (Contact)


Published August 27, 2012

Untitled document

David Letterman has nothing on me when it comes to stellar Top 10 lists.

At a former job, I was known for my amusing lists on whatever topic came up. Co-workers would challenge me with any number of things that I was expected to turn into a Top 10 list. Most of these lists were sarcastic in nature and I'd mix in some serious ones.

I haven't written a Top 10 in a while, so I thought maybe I'd take a stab at entertaining you with one today. The topic struck me this morning as I was passing someone in the stairwell. The person asked me a simple question: "How are you?"

It got me thinking: When someone asks you that, do they really want to know the answer? I have a feeling they don't. It's just their way of greeting you, instead of the standard "Hi." or "Hello" They typically don't mean for it to develop into a long conversation.

It would be interesting if when someone said "How are you?" you replied with "Terrible." Would they stop to listen to your story about how life stinks? I doubt it.

Anyway, so here is my Top 10 list, titled "Top 10 ways to respond to 'How are you?'

10. Wonder Ducky!

9. I'll let you know

8. Been better, been worse.

7. Is it Friday yet?

6. I'm glad you asked, how much time do you have...

5. Don't ask.

4. Not too bad. How are you? (My typical response)

3. I'd be better if I had a bacon sandwich!

2. Michigan sucks.

1. How am I what?


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