As a species, we humans can't be happy to just label ourselves, "humans". We need to demonstrate our difference from one another; by gender, by skin color, by nationality, by religion, by which hand we write with. All of this is to our detriment, and yet we keep beating the drums of difference. So "humans" cannot decide to love one another, partner, and to give it a try for life. Only certain "humans" can do this, and they are so "special" that we give that partnership a name, "marriage", and we give those lucky few "special" privileges under the law. A South Park episode could not be more ridiculous than what I just described. Justice Scalia, for all of your pompous intelligence, do you not find this absurd? Marriage is a special partnership of humans. Not of fish. Not of lions. Not of amoebas. Humans. Period.
March 27, 2013 at 2:47 a.m.
In this age of open enrollment, they all "recruit", including Poland. Once again, those of you who are "they recruit and that's not fair" crybabies are reaching for an excuse that is so far removed from the truth of the matter. The truth is, you don't want to play the parochial schools...the players do, but the adults do not so they cling to a tired, unproven, refrain.
March 6, 2013 at 12:44 a.m.
There is a lesson here in the Mooney victory over Poland. The lesson will fall on the deaf ears of all the folks out there NOT wanting to compete against parochial schools for reasons that really have no rational basis, just chanting an excuse, over and over, "they recruit". The lesson is this; you tarnish any championship or any record by making it a point not to play parochial schools. Poland wants nothing to do with ever playing Mooney. The players want to play, but the adults say, no. Well then, if Poland, or any other school that chooses this route, becomes a champion or has a great season, it will be with an asterisk, forever. You didn't play the BEST! All of you "they recruit" folks should watch the movie, "Hoosiers" and see how legends are made. Don't deprive the players from this chance of being legendary. Poland's record of 20 and 2 has to have people scratching their heads after last night's loss. You can't be the best, unless you compete against the best, no excuses!
March 5, 2013 at 12:23 p.m.
The solution is obvious: Get rid of Slocum, at last, and give the higher-paying men's job to Bolden. Then give Bolden's assistant the women's job to maintain continuity.
March 4, 2013 at 1:35 p.m.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much, to misquote Shakespeare. However, carrying on the theme, Sue may have been playing Lady Macbeth to JoePa's version of the Scottish king. Maybe it was Sue who advised Joe to cover things up, to never relinquish the reigns at Penn State. Everyone in that locker room, players, coaches, trainers and janitors for the last 15 years knew Sandusky was a pedophile. Why do you think they let him go years before? Joe had the keys to the kingdom. He controlled everything in the manner of a king. Nothing mattered but his ambition. Sue Paterno is witness to that. The more she fights for an undeserved justice the more she will lower the image of her king. She is very fortunate that Joe was never called to testify and never held to account behind bars. She should let him rest in peace and join a knitting circle to keep busy.
February 11, 2013 at 2:47 a.m.
RICHMOND, VA—As the Obama Administration signaled its determination to pass through extensive gun control reforms, a local AR-15 assault rifle told reporters Wednesday that it is beginning to fear it might never actually get the chance to kill an innocent human being in the course of its lifetime.“Just the idea that I might actually never get the chance to let loose a torrent of bullets on a roomful of bystanders is inconceivable to me,” the rifle added. “It’s awful. I mean, what else am I supposed to do with my life?”The AR-15 further lamented that gun control advocates’ plan to impose strict background checks on gun sales and restrict firearms access to mentally ill individuals would likely prevent the 5.56 mm, magazine-fed assault rifle from falling into the hands of the type of unhinged individual who would be likely to put the rifle to “[its] intended use” of butchering helpless civilians.“Believe me, if these new laws go into effect, there’s almost zero chance someone like that ever gets their hands on me,” the visibly emotional military-grade armament told reporters. “At best, I’ll probably end up in some responsible gun owner’s basement, spending the rest of my life plugging paper targets at a shooting range until I rust. Not exactly what you’d call a bright future for a precision-engineered killing machine like me.”“Imagine if your life’s dream was suddenly just taken away from you, just like that,” the gun added. “How would you feel?”Though a series of legally obtained firearms have left a staggering body count in recent shootings at Newtown, Aurora, and many other massacre sites, the lightweight assault rifle claimed that its own ambitions are relatively modest.“Honestly, I don’t even need to mow down an entire schoolyard of shrieking children, nothing like that,” the gun explained. “I mean, that would be fantastic, obviously, but at this point I’ll take what I can get. I would be thrilled to take out even one terrified mall shopper. That’s it. Just one. Or two, if possible. Is that really so much to ask?”At press time, the AR-15 was praying that the man in the camo pants currently inspecting him from the other end of the store counter had a history of mental illness.
January 30, 2013 at 11:01 p.m.
January 30, 2013 at 11 p.m.
BOARDMAN, OHIO—According to numerous reports, local resident, Tom Page, who owns a shotgun and several boxes of ammunition, is currently the last bastion of defense between the United States of America and the federal government’s full-scale takeover.Page, a recent retiree and a proud advocate of gun rights, and is, at present, the only person capable of preventing top-secret forces within the government from striking and forcefully coercing hundreds of millions of Americans to submit to a fascist and brutal New World Order.“It is every American’s right to be good and armed, and that’s a right that should always be protected,” said Page, now the sole American protecting the nation from the government’s hidden plot of disarming all citizens, gradually gaining control of the mass media, and installing martial law throughout the nation’s streets. “Our Founding Fathers intended for each and every one of us to protect ourselves from tyranny. That’s what America is all about.”“What happens when the feds show up at your front door and start telling you how much meat you can eat or how to raise your kids?”Page, who keeps his gun on his person at all times has reportedly struck dread into the very highest-ranking members of the U.S. government. According to sources, top government and military officials are fully aware that they remain unable to commence with their oppressive, systematic subjugation of the American populace as long as the 62-year-old owner of a rifle exists.“The way I see it, the Second Amendment’s been keeping this nation free and secure for well over 200 years,” Page said, valiantly standing in front of his home that is constantly being monitored by CIA agents and elite Special Forces operatives, who are told to maintain a safe distance from the formidable 62-year-old. “First they’ll come for our guns and next…well, shoot, I don’t really plan on ever seeing what the hell happens next.”While the federal government is more than adequately prepared to begin the first phase of its plan of convoying Second Amendment adherents to newly established FEMA concentration camps, high-level members of the Obama Administration involved in the widespread conspiracy confirmed that they have been forced to resort to alternate methods due solely to Page’s heroics.“As long as there’s someone like Tom out there with a gun and ammunition, we are unable to carry out our attack on America,” said Maxwell Caufield, a covert military leader in charge of the operation to turn the country into an authoritarian, one-party state wherein the basic rights of citizens are stripped away in order to create total government control. “Try as we did to spread our distorted gun control propaganda—claiming that it would protect innocent people across the country from needless deaths—the man just wouldn’t bite. “You’ve got to hand it to him, really,” Caufield added. “If it weren’t for Tom, you’d be looking at a totally different country.”
January 30, 2013 at 3:01 a.m.
LOL!! Oh, Tom, you did the community a service by sending that letter. Girl Scouts selling cookies, Boardman Baseball players selling raffle tickets, schoolkids selling candy bars, UPS Drivers making deliveries and Jehovah's Witness's trying to convert folks can look up your address and avoid you knowing that you are peeking out your curtains with your gun cocked and ready to blow those threatening criminals away! How many people that are familiar with you, co-workers, relatives and neighbors read your letter and said, "Hey, look at what that nutcase wrote to the editor!" You are so far outside reality...you need to better assess risks to your life. Falling and breaking your neck in the shower is more likely than a criminal harming you or anyone else; so just buy a bathmat if you want to be safer. And as far as what you think about President Obama, if the two of you went before a panel of psychiatrists to determine which one of you had a rational view of the world and which one of you suffered from paranoid delusions, who do you think they'd lock up? There is no saving a guy like you. You are one of life's unfortunates, waiting to pull out your Glock in Applebees, like Dirty Harry, and saving the day. More likely though, is that you blow a part of your body off and shoot innocent bystanders. Keep your guns and buy more of them; they're all you have in life.
January 29, 2013 at 10:38 p.m.
Hey BigBen and Vindyak you sweet, addle-brained, anti-government, paranoid, Tim McVeigh-types...listen to this... tattoo it in your brain...if the TOTALITARIAN GOVERNMENT that you fear so much (but doesn't exist) that you need as many weapons as you can lay your hands on decided to use the full might and technological prowess against donkies like you, no amount of weapons would make you last more than 10 seconds before you were a spot on the wall. This ain't the movies you poor, sweet, paranoid sots. But your weapons would come in handy if that brain of yours slips over that knife-edge that it is balanced on and you decide you want to take your revenge against family members, ex-family members, co-workers, neighbors or just society in general. That's the problem with guys like you having semi-automatic weapons and high-capacity magazines...society's ticking time bombs.
January 28, 2013 at 4:16 a.m.