The 5

After nine seasons, NBC’s “The Office” will say goodbye Thursday with a 75-minute final episode at 9 p.m. The groundbreaking “mockumentary” captured all the drudgery, hilarity, awkwardness and tensions of a typical cubicle-filled workplace. Much of that hilarity came from the character known as Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson). Here are five examples of Dwight’s philosophy:

v Smiling: “I never smile if I can help it. Showing one’s teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.”

v Tipping: “Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can — and do — cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.”

v Weaknesses: “Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses, second only to the neck.”

v Women: “Women are like wolves. If you want one you must trap it. Snare it. Tame it. Feed it.”

v Population: “There’s too many people on this Earth. We need a new plague.”

“American Idol” (8 p.m., Fox): The venerable singing competition heads into Thursday’s 12th-season finale considerably bruised and ratings-challenged like never before. Two finalists perform tonight.

“CSI” (10 p.m., CBS): Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath perform in the eerie season finale of “CSI.” Fortunately, no bats were harmed in the making of this episode.

tv listings, b6

entertainment news

Concert Band to open season


The Canfield Community Concert Band’s summer concert season will begin Tuesday with a 7 p.m. concert at Copeland Oaks Retirement Community in Sebring. The free concert is open to the public.

Under the direction of Brian Harris, the band will present a mix of patriotic songs, medleys and marches. For information, go to

Arts festival seeks entries for show


The New Castle Arts Festival has partnered with the Hoyt Center for the Arts for the 2nd annual Juried Art Show on Memorial Day weekend. All entries will be accepted. Cash prizes and ribbons will be awarded to winners: first place $150; second, $75; third, $50. Works will be exhibited in the Carousel House at the Cascade Park throughout the festival, May 25 and 26 from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Registration will be Saturday at the Hoyt Center for the Arts from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Guidelines and entry forms can be found at; or call 724-652-2882.

South Avenue Shuffle is Saturday


The 12th annual South Avenue Shuffle to benefit Sojourner House will be Saturday. Participants can sign up at participating establishments, including Evergreens, VFW, East Side Civics, Teenie’s Tavern, Pastime, Piggy’s, Club Twisted and Irish Bob’s. Entry is $25 and includes a T-shirt as well as tickets for beverages and food buffet at each stop.

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