‘Star Wars-THE PHANTOM MENACE’ 3-D doesn’t help the worst of saga

By Roger Moore

McClatchy Newspapers

Here’s what you may (or may not) remember from “Star Wars: Episode 1—The Phantom Menace,” now back in theaters in 3-D.

The laughs, what few there are, skew very young. When George Lucas speaks of how Jar Jar Binks is the “favorite character” of very young children, he’s right.

We don’t want to remember it’s pretty bad. Then we do.

The villains — “Trade Federation” aliens in rubber masks recycled from ’70s children’s TV, and the mantis-shaped digital battle droids who answer commands with high-voiced, silly lines like “Roger Roger” — aren’t the least bit menacing.

The performances are perfunctory. Even future Oscar winner Natalie Portman (Princess Amidala, undercover) and ought-to-have-Oscars co-stars Neeson and Ewan McGregor seem to be going through the motions.

If only little Jake Lloyd had been able to go through the motions. Lucas cast him, defended him when he got bad reviews, but truthfully, the director didn’t give his little Anakin Skywalker enough help on the set. The kid tries to fold his arms across his chest like a Jedi savant and misses. Lucas couldn’t give him another take?

The spectacle — settings, hardware, etc., much of it computer animated into the picture — are stunning. We easily could see this as a wholly realized alien universe, based on the attention to visual detail. The 3D heightens that and adds depth and texture to the animated characters who interact with the humans, especially Jar Jar.

The backstory created here — how Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia’s parents met, the conflict that led to the Clone Wars that set up the Empire and that led to “A New Hope” — isn’t remotely as interesting as leaping into the saga, “in medias res,” as the Romans used to say — in the middle, as “Star Wars: Episode IV” did.

Whatever pleasures there are in hunting for bit players who later became famous (Keira Knightley, Sofia Coppola, Dominic West), or finding Warwick Davis after “Willow” and before the Harry Potter movies, are few and far between.

As any fan knows, if “Episode 1” had been the first “Star Wars” movie, there would have been no “Episode 2.”

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