ANNIE’S MAILBOX: Wife is tired of selfish husband
By Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: How do you deal with a husband who thinks the world revolves around him? “Donald” always has to be the center of attention and makes sure he is in the spotlight at all times. People have told me he is spoiled and self-centered, which I knew from many years of marriage.
Years ago, I tried to improve my life by eating healthier, losing weight and being more active. I tried, unsuccessfully, to encourage Donald to join me. I cooked healthier meals and tried to make changes that seemed to work.
Now, Donald has health issues. Everything centers around what he needs. Suddenly, exercise is a top priority. He informs me almost daily of how his nutritionist wants him to eat. If food isn’t prepared properly, seasoned just so and fresh each day, it will hurt his health. If it doesn’t taste good, he won’t be able to eat it and it will cause problems. He claims he never eats in excess, yet he’ll grab candy bars and ice cream and think that’s OK.
Donald talks about his condition constantly to anyone who asks how he is. He delights in recounting all the details and expounds on his “excellent” performance in therapy and how hard he “pushes” himself at each workout.
Frankly, I am tired of it. He doesn’t care if I am sick as long as I still devote all my attention to him because he’s the most important person. He never says “please” or “thank you.” He just demands what he wants and loves being in total control.
I have no one to talk to in my small community. Where do I go from here? How do I continue to deal with Donald?
Why Is It Always About Him?
Dear Why: Someone as self-centered as Donald thinks he deserves to be treated like royalty and have his every move lauded. Many wives in your position would simply humor him and ignore the rest. If you cannot manage that, there are online counseling services available. Ask your doctor for a referral.
Dear Annie: I have a son in his late 20s who has bipolar disorder. He struggles because he cannot afford the medicine, which costs upward of $350 a month. He was recently fired from his job since he couldn’t maintain his medicine and control himself.
Is there somewhere he can get assistance with this? He is such a wonderful person when he is on his medication. He is close to losing everything.
A Family in Need of Assistance
Dear In Need: There are programs that offer medications at reduced rates for those with bipolar disease. First, your son should check with the drug company. They often supply their medications at a lower cost. Other suggestions are: prescription drug patient assistance programs (nami.org); Needy Meds (needymeds.org); Partnership for Prescription Assistance (pparx.org); RxAssist (rxassist.org); and The Medicine Program (themedicineprogram.com). We hope your son finds the help he needs.
E-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045.