Fallout from abuse

Fr. Crum, even though I do not condone any type of abuse, I do applaud you for admitting your guilt. GOD will be your judge.
"The Twelve Club" right?
A very proud CMHS grad.

Every time I hear the news reports about this now-ex-priest, I cringe because the information is so misleading.

Of course the Diocese wants to emphasize that they believe no other victims exist. ("The bishop said Father Crum told him there were no other victims.") But the Father served 12 churches / locations, and sexual offenders typically have more than one victim. It is more likely that other possible victims are still hiding the secret, still struggling with disclosure. Victims could have been part of the community where he served, not just at a school or church where he served.

Second the Diocese wants to emphasize that "Father Crum now is at a private psychiatric hospital, where he is being evaluated and treated." BUT research and victims' experiences with sexual predators shows that "therapy/counseling" does NOT cure predators. There is currently NO therapy that permanently changes the way predators think and feel.

"The bishop also would not say why the victim was coming forward now." MOST victims are in their 30s to 40s before gaining enough psychological strength to come forward. Victims have a lot of trauma to work through, and that trauma often stays buried for many years before the victim can even face what happened. THEN, often another decade or two passes before they report to authorities, especially in abuse by a religious leader.

In Ohio the statue of limitation for "...sex crimes against minors expires 20 years after the victim’s 18th birthday..." Because victims can be in their 40s before reporting, this law only protects predators. Victims are not aware nor thinking about statue of limitations on reporting; victims are struggling to simply live each day within the aftermath of abuse.

Victims NEED an open-ended time to report. NO statue of limitations should exist for sex crimes against children and teens, or for sex crimes against special groups, such as abuse by clergy, and such as sex crimes against the ill, disabled, and elderly.

I wish local news reporting would give a balanced picture about past abuse issues. Again, predators normally have MORE THAN ONE VICTIM, and counseling for predators does NOT cure the predator's thinking or behavior. Please contact agencies and professionals who work in this field who can present the facts about victimization.

I hope that any other victims have the courage to come forward now.

When I saw the headlines regarding ex-Fr. Crum my only reaction was "It is about time!". I wonder how these gay/pedophile priests think they are hiding their orientation from us? And I do not agree with the stats about the 4% of priests engaging in this behavior. It has got to be way higher than that.
A large number of people will not come forward out of fear and shame or to crush the hearts of their elderly parents . The priesthood has been a perfect guise for gay men- costumes, decoration, ceremony, private gossip-all in the name of religion.
And besides the pedophiles, nobody has mentioned the gay activity among the priests themselves and with other men of their parish or in other places. I am glad that ex-Fr. Crum has admitted his sin(s). Hope he can head off to South Beach or wherever and enjoy the beach.

Sunnyskies, being gay has nothing to do with pedophilia. There are married men who commit this act, as well as single hetero men.

I frankly don't care if a priest is gay. Gay or straight--just be faithful.

Come on, get past the prejudice and learn about sexual orientation and its scientific basis, and find the actual facts about pedophilia.

I know the news said the victim who came forward no longer lives in this area. But, in case he or she happens to search the Internet to see what the news is reporting, I want to say a few things to the victim:

Many people share your pain with their own first-hand experiences of being abused by someone in authority and/or by religious leaders.

I commend you for coming forward. It doesn't matter how long it took for you to report; the most important thing is that you told.

You will likely have a lot stirred up by "telling". That is normal for victims. You won't lose the healing you already accomplished. Be patient with yourself and your emotions as you go into this new territory of telling the secret.

Whether he had any other victims--or whether they ever choose to tell their stories--you likely saved many other potential victims.

It's hard for survivors to get authorities to believe the story/the facts of what happened. I hope you consistently receive support from the Diocese; I hope they respond to you properly. They haven't historically known how to respond to victims who told on the abuser(s). I hope they have improved in this area.

Again, you did the right thing, even though it's very hard.

What a sicko!

Sunnyskies, Why are you assuming the victim was male? Are you therefore saying that the entire priesthood is gay and that there have never been any female victims of abuse by clergy. I think being homophobic you are confusing the facts. Pedophilia has nothing to do with what the gender of the victim. That varies from predator to predator.........pedophilia has to do with AGE of the victim, not the predators sexual orientation. Are you saying all pedophiles are homosexuals and by so saying is it your "theory" that all females are safe from Catholic clergy sexual abuse?

For ebee and najjjj: I am well aware that there are married men who commit pedophilia. There are a lot of gay males who prey upon very young boys as well. I do not believe that these type of gay men belong in the priesthood. I too believe that being homosexual is genetic. As far as the victim? Since I was a parishioner at one of the churches that Ex-Fr. Crum presided, I and everyone else can guarantee you, it was male. If priests are going to take a vow of abstinence, that means from ALL sexual activity. Did either of you know Ex. Fr. Crum? Did you have to go and sit in confession?
How do you feel now? I personally know some grown men who were molested by priests in their youth who refuse to come forward and I respect their privacy. They don't want to stir up old memories and cause embarassment to themselves or their families. Some of the priests involved are now very old. Some are deceased. As a child we are taught to tell the Truth. Our priests and sisters
in grade school taught us the same. If all of the priests who are guilty of these sexual sins would just come forward and tell the truth they would be a better example for us than reading the Homily at Mass and being a hypocrite.

Listen folks, even Christ picked one bad apple out of the 12. What this means is they're human like all of us. Fr. Crum did the right thing admitting to his sin. This had to be terribly hard for the victim to come forward now, it tells me that he/she has lived with this all his/her life and maybe now can bring it to some closure.

I have a problem with some of these stories of people coming forward after so long a time has passed because it sounds like a money grabbing scheme to me.

Sunnyskies, priests are supposed to be celibate. Most men, both straight and gay are not pedophiles. According to you, you are not homophobic. Then it should follow that it's alright for a gay man to be a priest as long as that priest is celibate. Correct? By the way, I feel just fine. This incident involved a priest who is a pedophile. Yes, there seem to be many pedophiles in the priesthood. Some of these predators go after young boys, some after young girls. These sick offenders have one thing in common, they are all pedophiles. Pedophiles are disgusting and sick people, who seem to be beyond help....the are predators. Homosexuality is a preference. Pedophilia is an incorrigible, incurable sickness. Homosexuality and pedophilia are two completely different things. Oh yeah, by the way.....how do you feel now? Less homophobic, I hope.....but I doubt it.

This man had no business in any position of authority - or working with children. I knew that as a 7th grader at St. Christine's. If a 7th grade student knows someone is bad at his core, people of authority in the church and school should know the same. They did not protect me when he publicly humiliated me and they should have. I was an innocent child. Even my parents who were outraged by his inappropriately aggressive behavior toward me were afraid to make the call to the school, and did not. I can only imagine the kind of abuse he inflicted privately, knowing that nobody would stand up to him. He had way too much power, and he abused it. There were many rumbling allegations about this man over a long time, so the only surprise is that it took this long to show up in the public eye. It is likely there are many more scarred individuals out there from all kinds of power abuse. Nevertheless, it taught me that the church is fallible - and made up of flawed people just like the rest of us - not demigods. And, for that, I am grateful to be a smart person who thinks on my own, and not an obedient sheep. If more people felt that way, the church would be much healthier, because we would and should expect more from our leaders than we do.

Victims come forward for any combination of reasons, not just to sue or get money.

Most victims finally report the abuse because they fear other victims could become (or already are) targets.

Most victims finally tell because holding "the secret" becomes far more traumatic than just telling. Most victims have a part of them that, emotionally, is still at the age of the abuse; telling helps re-connect the feelings that got split off.

Telling is NOT an easy "gimme some money" decision. Telling can actually stir up old emotions to the point that the victim wishes he or she never told. Telling can make daily life harder--for a while-- with stress, nightmares, flashbacks, fears, and a whole range of emotions.

To assume any victim tells just to get money is simply a wrong assumption!

My compliments, pieroghi.

Anyone who thinks there aren't more victims is crazy. This guy was at St. Christine's when I was a student there. He followed the classic patterns of grooming victims for sexual abuse. He ate dinner at parishioner's homes and then took their pre-teen sons out to R-rated movies and supplied them with alcohol and pornography. He was always condescending to women and girls. Mean too.
If someone ever bothered to pull the names of the alter boys who served under him-you'd have a list of victims a mile long. Guarantee it. The reason people don't report this is nothing is ever done about it and who are these kids going to tell? Their parents are INVITING them over to their house!!! No grown man has any business hanging out with young boys and spending time alone with them. If a neighbor you barely knew asked to have your son come alone with them to a pornographic movie and your son came home smelling of booze...would you ignore it?? Pedophiles go where the victims are...

Sadly, I am not surprised by this allegation. It is just so tragic that it has taken so long to remove him from the priesthood. When Crum was at St. Christine's, there were rumors about his behavior. In addition to the general rumors that I heard, I know of at least one instance where he did try inappropriate behavior on a minor, because I knew the minor in question and I have never been able to forget it. This is a situation where there is smoke, there is fire. I am sure there are other victims out there. I hope that they come forward and God Bless them for the courage that it takes. I believe the church needs to let priests marry. Also, I do not think it is about being gay. Normal gay people do not commit crimes against children. But for some reason, the priesthood attracts perverted individuals, both straight and gay. At least the Bishop seems to be proactive, unlike the secrecy maintained by the church for decades.

When I read some of the comments here about students who heard rumors, I shake my head and wonder why no one spoke up for the kids in those "rumors".

Then, I shake my head again (at myself) because I'm falling into the same trap that many people do: thinking kids or teens know where to go and whom to tell. Most though don't know what to do when they hear rumors about other students, friends, etc.

The most important thing to do is TALK / TELL. Go to any adults-- many adults. If one adult ignores your report, go to other adults. Call the police. Call Child Welfare. Tell teachers who are mandatory reporters about abuse. Tell your parents. And---- if no one seems to "get it" you can even call the media--newspaper editor, TV newsroom, radio General Manager. Tell the media how many adults you told and that no one is hearing you.

Kids & teens don't have to spend ANY of their 13 years of schooling hearing rumors without someone telling. Be the person who breaks the silence; be the person to help the student who you believe is being abused.

In this case, this priest could have been stopped long ago. Just TELL. And keep telling until someone pays attention.

I told my mother that I thought it was weird that Fr. Crum used to take my brother, an altar boy, to R movies. My mother told me that I was just jealous. She's very Catholic; she probably thought it was a huge honor for the priest to take an interest in her son.

He was always a jerk. His idea of pastoral care was berating the congregation for not dressing better for mass. So I did his bidding and stopped attending Catholic church as soon as I could rather than offend him or any other priest with my slovenly ways. After all, Jesus said "spend money on fine designer clothes, and the poor should not step foot in my sight unless they can afford to dress better." Yes?

By the way, Fr. Crum used to be bald. That rug is a crime against fashion.

Also a crime: the way that everyone overlooked his fondness for altar boys and his bullying of everyone else.

There is a support group in the Youngstown area for victims of abuse by clergy and their families. If you are in need of advice or are interested in a support group, feel free to contact us at snapyoungstown@sbcglobal.net or check our national website at snapnetwork.org.

SNAP "Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests"

If you've been victimized by Fr Crum or any clergy, please know that you are not alone. You can get better. You can reach out to others who've been hurt just like you have. Together, we can heal one another.

We are SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests. We are the nation's largest, oldest and most active support group for women and men wounded by religious authority figures (priests, ministers, bishops, deacons, nuns and others). We are an independent and confidential organization, with no connections with the church or church officials

Judy Block Jones, SNAP director southeastern Ohio, 636-433-2511 snapsteubenville@gmail.com

David Clohessy, SNAP National director 314-566-9790 cell, 314-645-5915 hm. Snapclohessy@aol.com

If you have knowledge or have been harmed by Fr Crum, please contact Mahoning County Prosecutor, Paul J. Gains, 330-740-2330.

Judy Jones, SNAP director southeastern Ohio, snapsteubenville@gmail.com

True, Murry is the exception to the rule, at least here in the United States. God bless him for doing the morally right thing. Would that we had other bishops like him. We don't.

We have no Australian like Bishop Geoffrey Robinson, no Irishman like Archbishop Diarmiud Martin and someone like Bishop Thomas Gumbleton had his wings clipped early on.

I hope Murry follows up with sending papers to Rome laicizing the Rev. Thomas Crum thus totally removing him from the Roman Catholic priesthood.

The experts tell us that it is highly improbable that an individual like Crum sexually abused only one person during his long tenue and many assignments.

If Murry wants to continue supporting Crum, pay his medical coverage, provide housing, a car etc., he is free to do that but no one like Crum should remain a priest.

There are already too many, including bishops, who are known sexual abusers of children, young people, women or vulnerable adults who are fully supported by the Church.

All this is quite troubling when one reflects on the fact that fully two-thirds of the sitting bishops in 2002 can be shown to have facilitated the abuse of minor children because they covered it up, transferred priests, lied about knowing anything, intimidated parents or whistle-blowers, etc., etc.

Not a pleasant picture is it?

Then do something about it!

Members of the Delaware Coalition, Child Victims Voice were successful in removing all statutes of limitation in regard to the sexual abuse of minors by anyone.

The Delaware Child Victims Law went into effect on July 10, 2007.

We went from a two year SOL both criminally and civilly AND we have a two year civil window for bringing forward previously time barred cases of SEXUAL ABUSE - BY ANYONE!

THAT TWO YEAR CIVIL WINDOW REMAINS OPEN UNTIL JULY 09, 2009.

New York is trying to pass similar legislation at this very moment. Ohio should be doing the same thing. Ohio statutes are very deficient and need updating. Do it now. It is all about the children, past, present and future.

Sister Maureen Paul Turlish
Victims' Advocate
New Castle, Delaware
maureenpaulturlish@yahoo.com