'Warren' may be wanting to date others
Dear Annie: I was lucky enough to find my true love at 16. I am now 19, and my boyfriend, "Warren," and I have been together for over three years. We have a wonderful, healthy relationship. He is my best friend and the most honest, trustworthy person I know. For some reason, however, I am having trouble getting over my own silly insecurities.
The problem began shortly after we started college together. Warren is a very friendly guy, so of course, he has been making friends left and right, including many girls in his classes. There are so many pretty girls around here that I am constantly worried he will fall for someone else and forget about me. On top of this, Warren has become more secretive about his actions ever since we got here, including covering his phone so I cannot see when he receives text messages.
I understand this is all normal and innocent, but I cannot stop myself from worrying. I am constantly trying to snoop around his things. Warren knows about my insecurities, and most of the time he reminds me that he loves me and thinks I am the most beautiful girl in the world, but other times he just laughs and ignores my questions, or worse, gets mad and tells me to give him space.
Annie, I really do love Warren and have complete trust in him. He knows we are meant for each other. Why am I so worried? Sleepless in Ann Arbor, Mich.
Dear Sleepless: We don't mean to upset you, but we're not sure this is "all normal and innocent." We suspect Warren would like to branch out, but he doesn't want to hurt you. You are sensing this, and that's why you feel insecure. Ask Warren to answer honestly about whether or not he wants the freedom to date others. If he says "yes," we hope you will look at this as an opportunity to expand your horizons. Also, make an appointment with the school counseling service. It will help.
Dear Annie: I am a 54-year-old man with three children and two stepchildren, all of whom are over 21 and on their own.
My stepdaughter, "Kristy," is getting married in June. Her natural father hasn't had anything to do with his kids for a number of years. When she started making wedding plans, she asked my son and daughter if it would be OK with them if I walked her down the aisle. My daughter thought it was wonderful. However, my son and his wife have gotten together with my ex-wife and determined that if I walk Kristy down the aisle, I will be insulting my own daughter.
My daughter has no wedding plans at this time, and has said repeatedly that she's OK with this. Is there some kind of rule that says I have to walk my daughter down the aisle before anyone else? Confused Grandpa
Dear Grandpa: Your son, his wife and your ex are wrong. There are no rules about this. Walking a stepdaughter down the aisle is a great honor, and it does not detract in any way from walking your daughter down the aisle at a later date.
Dear Annie: I'm writing about "Restless," whose husband, "John," cheated on her over 18 years ago and was now getting mail about child support for a daughter.
My questions are: Where was this child for the past 18 years, and why wasn't the alleged biological father contacted sooner? Are there any financial obligations after all this time? Is this child entitled to anything from John now that she's an adult? Thanks. (I have a bet riding on this.) A. in Corona, Calif.
Dear Corona: It depends on the state law. Some states can require back child support, even when the child is an adult. And a few states obligate parents to pay for college. Why wasn't Dad contacted for 18 years? There's no way to know unless Mom writes to tell us. (We suspect no one wins this bet.)
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