She feels a need to cheat on 'Clark'
Dear Annie: I have been in a serious relationship with "Clark" for over two years. He's the man of my dreams, and I love him more than words can say. We are open, honest and loyal to each other, and we get along great. We get through hard times better than I ever imagined.
Here's the problem: Lately, I've had trouble keeping my eyes on only him. I have this feeling inside that makes me want to run off and have random intimate relations with complete strangers.
I have never cheated in my relationship and don't ever plan to, but a part of me wants to, even though I love Clark completely. I don't want to come off as a promiscuous person, because I'm not. Is there any way you can help me? Confused Canadian
Dear Confused: Sometimes, out-of-control desires can indicate medical problems such as hormonal imbalances. It's also possible that you are simply scared of the depth of your commitment to Clark. It can be frightening to fall so completely in love, and finding "the one" means there won't be any others. This can create a sense of panic and, in some cases, a subconscious need to wreck the relationship, partly to get out and partly because you don't feel you deserve such a great guy. First see a doctor for a complete check-up, and then talk to a therapist. You need to sort this out before you do something you will regret.
Dear Annie: A friend of ours who was recently widowed is now dating a woman we do not like. My husband and I have tried to be supportive of "Thomas" and patient with his new girlfriend, but she is so difficult to be around.
"Lulu" has lied about her past employment. She's lied about attending a nearby college. She brags and exaggerates every experience. When she opens her mouth, we don't know what to believe. She also repeats herself, interrupts others and is petulant when attention drifts away from her. We are amazed Thomas has not confronted her about all this, but we chalk it up to his need for companionship and the residual effects of a stroke some time ago.
Others in our group see Lulu as a gold digger. Thomas' children are trying to be polite, but, like us, their patience is wearing thin. So far, we have refused a lot of invitations, but should we intervene? Should we be honest with Thomas about our feelings? Cape Cod Friend
Dear Cape Cod: Here are the only things you need to be concerned about: Is Lulu taking advantage of Thomas financially? Is she abusing him? His children should look into the former, and you don't present any evidence of the latter. Thomas gets to pick his own companions, even if they are annoying, petulant and untruthful. Don't bad-mouth Lulu, but if Thomas asks why you don't socialize as much as you used to, you may tell him that you haven't warmed up to his girlfriend.
Dear Annie: This is in response to the letter from "Still Young," whose 71-year-old mother got a part-time job, causing concern among her older siblings.
My 75-year-old mother still works full time. She loves it and feels it keeps her alive and young. I also have an aunt in her 70s who has severe emphysema, and she works as a crossing guard. Her doctor believes this is slowing the progression of the illness because it makes her happy.
If Mom wants to work, let her. It keeps her engaged, and she is not sitting around the house waiting to die. M.L.
Dear M.L.: We heard from plenty of readers who continue to work well into their 70s and 80s and see no reason to stop.
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