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FRAGILE BABIES Dealing with grief and loss

Published: Sat, October 28, 2006 @ 12:00 a.m.

It's usually difficult to see a loved one who has an infant with a life-threatening condition going through the painful ordeal, and the tendency is to want to make that person's pain go away. Even though that probably won't happen, there are ways to help.
Listen and tune in to the person's feelings.
Offer emotional support and empathy.
Don't be afraid to mention the infant's name. Talking about the newborn won't & quot;remind & quot; the parents of their loss; it's already on their minds.
Remember significant days pertaining to the infant such as birthdays, holidays and the due date.
Tell the person about the stages of grief -- denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance -- and that they are a normal part of the process.
Recognize that everyone handles grief in their own way. The important thing is to deal with it.
Refrain from telling the parents that they can have another baby. Nothing will replace the loss.
Don't make statements such as & quot;It was God's will & quot; or & quot;It was for the best. & quot;
Source: Touched By Nathan Foundation

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