It's time for 'Alice' to learn to share the workload
Dear Annie: I have been quite frustrated at work lately. My co-worker, "Alice," does not pull her weight in the office. She's a great person and all, but she just doesn't know very much about her job.
Alice has been here for five years, which is longer than I have, but she knows half as much as I do. She is constantly asking me questions in between talking to co-workers and making personal calls.
We both have key roles in the company, and what we do affects everyone else. Many other employees have complained to their supervisors about Alice, but the manager doesn't do anything about the problem. He actually sticks up for her. I have tried talking with my manager, only to be shot down each time. He protects her on every level.
The stress of being the sole person carrying the weight is really starting to get to me. I would hate to have to take this to the manager's supervisor, but if I don't, my job could be on the line. What should I do? Working Hard in Ottawa
Dear Ottawa: You have four choices: You can explain to Alice that you will no longer cover for her and she will have to learn her job on her own time; you can warn your manager that if he does not address the inequality, you will go over his head; you can discuss the problem with your manager's supervisor; you can quit and look for another job. We say try them, in that order.
Dear Annie: Please help me. I just learned that my father's estate lawyer has forged my name on a warranty deed. I have the proof.
I have talked to numerous lawyers, written the attorney general of the state and also the U.S. attorney general. They both said it was not their department. Can you tell me what to do? Ashamed of Our Legal System
Dear Ashamed: Since you have spoken to numerous lawyers, one of them should have told you that you need to have the warranty deed nullified, and that means you must hire an attorney to file a civil lawsuit against the estate lawyer. We hope that takes care of it.
Dear Annie: Thank you so much for printing the letter from the 20-year-old man who had been crossdressing since the age of 12. You were very kind and not judgmental, and recommended an organization called Tri-Ess, The Society for the Second Self.
I discovered my son, age 15, is a crossdresser. I went looking for dirty laundry and found items hidden behind his bed. At first I was terrified -- for him, not myself. He already is socially awkward, struggles in school and is receiving counseling. I thought the crossdressing was more than he could bear.
I looked online and asked his therapist for information, but it was difficult to find support for the entire family. Tri-Ess has been wonderful in giving us (my husband, too, is very supportive) good information about crossdressing and how to help our son become the best man he can be. I even recommended it to my son's therapist.
Thank you so much for helping crossdressers, parents and families understand this condition. I feel so much better-prepared to help my son cope with this development in his adolescence. Loving Mom
Dear Loving Mom: Most parents would freak out if their children surprised them this way, which, of course, isn't at all helpful. You and your husband are to be commended for your sensitivity and understanding. Again, readers, the address for Tri-Ess is: The Society for the Second Self Inc. (tri-ess.org), P.O. Box 980638, Houston, Texas 77098-0638.
E-mail your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
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