KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox She refuses to call it quits with cell phone friend
Dear Annie: My wife of five years recently met a guy at work, and they have become rather close friends. Well, she claims it's only friendship. I think there is more going on because she talks to him on the phone for hours on end.
Three weeks ago, I discovered "Audrey" had purchased a new cell phone plan that includes two phones and shared minutes. One phone belongs to my wife, and this guy has the other one. When I confronted her, she told me the phone was his and he was letting her use it. I checked around, and that's a complete lie.
I have repeatedly asked Audrey to get rid of the phone or "give it back to him," but she refuses. In the last week, she has stopped talking to her family and old friends. In fact, she rarely acknowledges me anymore. Am I wrong to think there is more than friendship here? Audrey won't admit a thing, so I have asked her for a divorce. Even though I love her, I cannot see this ever being resolved.
I know I should seek counseling, but I also believe that she needs to go as well. Any help would be appreciated. California Hubby
Dear Calif.: Well, you've certainly got Audrey's number. We agree that her involvement with this co-worker is not exactly kosher. If the threat of divorce didn't shake her, she obviously wants to reach out and touch someone, and it's not you. Please go for counseling alone. You need help getting through this.
Dear Annie: This is for "Rubbed the Wrong Way in Lincoln, Neb.," the stay-at-home mom who complained because a woman wore a thong swimsuit in front of her children. The mother took a photo of the woman and anonymously hung it on her door with a wiseacre caption. What a crude and mean thing to do. If someone did that to me, I would call the police and hope to have her arrested for harassment.
And where did her children learn to call the neighbor by the distasteful and low-grade nickname "The Butt Lady"? Neither this woman nor her children sound like models of decorum to me.
At my health club, these women think they own the pools merely because they have their kids with them. I would be ever so grateful if someone would dislodge these women and their screaming offspring for just one day. Rochester, N.H.
Dear Rochester: Most of our readers do not agree with you. Read on:
From Kentucky: We had a similar situation. "Jen" was a 30-something, well-built blonde who always came to the pool in a string bikini, then would pose, stretch and show off in front of everyone. Leers, jeers and comments did not stop her. Several of us decided to fight back. These gals, of every shape and size, paraded around in front of Jen in similar attire. One rather overweight older woman arranged to have a bikini "malfunction" in front of Jen and her hubby. She got the message.
Boston: You said if the building has no dress-code restrictions, there wasn't much she could do. If it's a condo, she can get together with other residents to petition the trustees to adopt dress-code restrictions. If the trustees refuse, they can organize to elect new trustees. If it's a rental, I would think a landlord might respond to a large number of tenants asking for a dress or behavior code at the pool.
Highland, Ind.: Since she is getting no help from the landlord (I'm sure he is enjoying the scenery), please advise her to check with her local police department regarding the woman being in a state of partial nudity in public. It may seem like a drastic measure, but I wouldn't think twice about it if my children were exposed to public indecency like that.