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A DEFINING MOMENT Where do you stand in the relationship?



Published: Fri, February 1, 2002 @ 12:00 a.m.



Possible dates, their advantages and disadvantages:

Just a friend: Someone you've know for awhile, and you don't want anything more from him or her than just a friendship.

Advantage: You know and trust your friend well (at least, you think you do). You're comfortable with, and know what to expect from, him or her.

Disadvantage: Watch out! If your friend doesn't know you're not interested in anything more than a friendship, she/he might think you're more than "just a friend" and put the moves on you.

Friend with the possibility of more than "just a friend" status: Someone you're just friends with now, but you wouldn't mind knowing whether it could develop into more than a friendship.

Advantage: You can see how it feels to be on a date with the person. If it weirds you out, you'll know you don't want to pursue a relationship.

Disadvantage: It may spoil your friendship if your friend wants to remain just that, or if you start a relationship and it doesn't work.

Crush: Someone you don't know very well but think is possibly dating material.

Advantage: You'll find out if you're compatible with your crush and if the crush is interested in you.

Disadvantage: Warning: The crush might be a letdown if she/he is a jerk, incompatible, etc.

Longtime crush: Someone you've been admiring for YEARS but never really pursued.

Advantage: This is your big opportunity to make your hopes become reality.

Disadvantage: The longtime crush might be a big disappointment if she/he is not at all what you expected (that is, a great conversationalist who is polite and thoughtful, with stellar intelligence, loads of personality and charisma and a sense of humor, etc.).

New significant other: Someone you've just recently started dating, and you're not really sure where the relationship is headed.

Advantage: The occasion might bring you closer to your new significant other -- or help you realize you're not as interested as you thought before you get in too deep.

Disadvantage: You may discover your significant other may want to be more or less serious than what you want, or the person may be using you just for a date and then drop you after the function.

Longtime significant other: Someone you've been dating for a significant amount of time.

Advantage: You know what to expect from your significant other.

Disadvantage: You know what to expect from your significant other.

Compiled by Veronica Gorley




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