DIANE MAKAR MURPHY If something can go wrong ... will it always?
I rose at 6:40 a.m. Thursday to make my kids' lunches. I only make them two days a week -- a bow to the fact that Josh and Hannah need to become independent, and to the fact that I don't want them to become independent.
It had been a lousy Wednesday night. I stayed up late mending a backpack, then awakened at 5 a.m. with nothing to do but think about ... well, nothing, really. Soccer boosters, composition class, allergies, Anthony Hopkins' blue eyes (I'd just watched "Shadowlands"). It took a half-hour to snore again.
When the clock radio roused me, I got up but was half-asleep. I fumbled in the kitchen with the lunch bags -- morning hands -- then moved on to making breakfast, at which point I promptly dropped the gallon jug of milk onto the floor. In rapid motion, it dropped, flipped, then landed upright. Not a drop of milk fell out.
Immensely pleased and surprised, I instantly thought, "Murphy's Law." But, of course, this was NOT Murphy's Law. Being a Murphy only by marriage, I had escaped it, evidently. Then what? Maybe "Makar's Law?" Hmmmm. Why not? Let's see ...
Whereas Murphy said, "If anything can go wrong, it will," and as a corollary, Etorre said, "The other line moves faster," here are:
U There is always the chance that things will turn out right. In some instances, things may even turn out better than expected.
U If an unexpected expense is about to occur, you will come into a sum of money equivalent to the expense just beforehand so that you are saved in the nick of time.
U Every man has a little bit of genius in him.
U If the other line moves faster, it's because you needed time to just stand and do nothing for a while.
U When in doubt, speak boldly. If you're right, people will think you knew all along. If you're wrong, you will appear no more wrong than if you had mumbled your answer.
U If you drop a piece of buttered bread, good for you. Choose something healthier to eat instead.
U If you open a can of worms, simply put the lid back on.
U Worry makes you preview what might NOT happen.
U In looking for something you've lost, you will frequently find other missing things.
U Most good things in life are neither illegal, immoral or fattening.
U If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, pencil in an hour for a candlelit bubble bath.
U Left to themselves, things frequently get better.
U If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, you're looking in the wrong direction.
U Because no matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, you will find it on sale later for less, stop looking once you've bought it.
U Anything that begins well has the potential to end better. Anything that begins badly has the potential to end well.
U No good deed ... goes unnoticed by God (or Allah, or Jehovah, or whomever you consider your creator).
U If it looks easy, it might just be easy.
U If the phone rings after you step outside, it was a telemarketer.
U Inside every unsolvable large problem are lots of small problems you can solve.
U If everything seems to be going well, celebrate.
Postscript: In researching Murphy's Law and all its corollaries online, I found a link to Murphy's Law Firm in Miami. They even listed Murphy's Law as their motto: If something can go wrong, it will." I wonder if they get a lot of business?